.40 [revolution]

At 12:01 when the revolution begins
I will secure the perimeters
and shut off the T.V.
I will destroy my CD collection
with one cleansing crash!
Shattering it like everything else
I learned before you

I will swiftly gather the essentials
and sweep you up-
offering protection and comfort
while we get straight to the business

of moving on to a brighter day

With or without weaponry
I will securely defend
every strand of hair
on your head
preparing to fight or flee,
willingly performing any and all gestures
from the menial
to the professional

I will hoist a mighty framework-
a mobile structure fit for
all weather conditions as well as
rugged terrain
snowy mountains
sandy deserts
vast bodies of water
and gentle valleys

There upon we will sleep
when tired
eat
when hungry
laugh
when sad
cry
when melancholy
exchanging ideas
and dreams
until we arrive
at a better way

I will handle
with great caution and respect
my genius of love and affection—
the one passed to me
from the womb of her mother
by the seed of her father—
until I found her -
new born and brilliant—
waking me to the reality
of all things alive

.39

I nourish myself on you
like Adam in reverse.

And when, like Eve, 

you left an apple behind,
it flew me higher 

than the flight you boarded
towards home...

At long last when you finally arrive
I will be there. Ready.

Ready to change your life-
the way you changed mine.

.38

did i break-up with you?
or you with me?
i don’t even remember.

maybe we didn’t break-up at all...
maybe we’re still together.

.34

i do know what you need
i’ve studied with dire patience

poor fatherless bastard
no one to know
no where to go
seeking something
here
in the big city

frustrated and starved
patient and dire

still
you’re the kind of woman
who makes a man
write poetry

.33

i love a damsel
in distress
i got a right
to sing the blues
you turned him
into a slave
and me
into a free man

i used to be pained
and sarcastic
now i’m honest
and i care
my mind is going
through them changes

but the heart
is intent
and the package
it is wrapped in
is a wild bonus dream

.32

there's a depth to my sorrow
one i'd like to forgive
it brings hollowness to joy
and allows me to be let down
again and again and again

it makes me needy
it makes me weak
it makes me pathetic
and un-developed
and dramatic
and forgettable

through all the ups
despite all the downs
it stays watchful
ready to insecurely defend it's self
and it's right to remain

who else has been
as loyal
as comforting
as threatening
as he

.31 [playlist]

01.Prefab Sprout - Dragons
02.Erykah Badu - Honey
03.Me'Shell Ndegéocello - Lovely Lovely
04.Amp Fiddler - Faith
05.Lupe Fiasco - Kick Push
06.Alicia Keys - Sure Looks Good to Me
07.Lou Reed - Perfect Day
08.Amy Winehouse - Tears Dry On Their Own
09.Flirtations - Nothing But A Heartache
10.Lee Morgan - Since I Fell for You
11.Style Council - (When You) Call Me [Demo Version]
12.Les Rita Mitsuoko - Terminal Beaute
13.Bill Evans Trio - Swedish Pastry
14.Chic - 26

15.Miles Davis - Dear Old Stockholm
16.Chet Baker - Everything Happens To Me
17.The Exies - My Goddess
18.Blur - Girls And Boys
19.Babyshambles - There She Goes

.30 [glanton]

the more i search —
the less i know —
about him.

in this web-wired universe
he's a simple brushstroke -
of a color that cannot be seen -
in a shape that cannot be defined -
with words that are written
to be unpronounceable -
and desires
that could never be fulfilled on earth

.29 [saudade]

thoughts of you
take me to a place
i almost
remember
being before
but such eons ago
that it feels too good
to release

.28

on wheels
i roll

on air
i expand

on scandal
i blush

on hyperbole
i swear

on love
i digress

on gravity
i'm bound

.27

overwhelmed.
again.
by the words.
and her.
how to convey.
how to describe.
how to
explain the experience
being near enough to touch.
near enough to catch
and remember her fragrance.

the lilt of her punchline and
the smile of her laughter.
the succulent curves
of her posterior
and marble sculptured bodice
that accentuate
her exquisite-ness
and serve to make her
a work of art.

and me —
i'm simply a patron

.26

my brain my mind
my body and head
the life i lived
the things i've said

when you hi-jacked them
you got me
you hold me captive
and i've swallowed the key

.25 [the feeling of revealing]

i love the feeling
of revealing

while you stay guarded

stone-hearted
i write - but i receive no reply
it's not polite. and that's the reason why
i'll call but you'll just put me hold
and make me wait frozen & cold
so i just sit here at home
write down these poems
by now you should know 'em
they're all about you
and i don't even show 'em

.24

it is not as if i haven't been writing.
i do that every day.
i have no choice in that matter.
what i allow you to read -
i have control over that.
you might understand that i am deeply smitten.
i have lost sight of whether these poems 

show i'm suspect to being half-crazy.
but i think again, they actually prove i am.

who else would so cordially,
so archaically express himself this way.
afraid of rejection and almost certain of receiving it,
i have become that social retard,
and as such the writings
have gotten more sorrowful and even masochistic.

i will post again,
and as i continue to write,
it shows i continue to keep you alive deep within myself -
albeit in an idealistic and perfect way -
and that is based on you and
what i have enjoyed all about you.

.23 [questionnaire]

could you really be this desireable?

what is it about you that attracts?

and repels?

what do you hear when you listen to the sound of your own voice?

which fragrance is the one that most appeals to you?

how does it feel to run your fingers through your hair?

do you taste as sweet as you seem?

what do YOU see when you look in the mirror?

what could you possibly think about me?

.22

give me a minute or two
to look into your eyes
to smell your hair
and figure out
which panties
you have on 

beneath your skirt

my plan's to please
so just give me a minute
to examine your fingers

and finger those golden curls
peeking through
the rest of them

.21 [be prepared]

i wasn't prepared
for all this
now i'm not sure
just what to do
in order to have
and to get to you

i'll wear your ring
and take your peg
get down on my knees
humiliated
and beg

or bend you over
and beat your ass red
make you scream to stop
repeating words that i've said

are you an evil girl
or just a pretender
are you strong and tough
or rare and tender

.20

i love your crazy 'out-there' ways
i love your curly 'kick-ass' waves

i love your little black girl nose
i love your sexy painted toes

i'll take you anyway i can
just to make you my woman

i'll work hard like never before
just to clean your bathroom floor

i'll do your homework - even the math
and drink the water from your bath

.19

the jerk within
is thirsty again
and the quench
is mightier than
all the violence
from all the chaos
in this universe
and then what?
how best tame it?

and as I crawl the walls
until the walls crawl me—
my passion evolutes,
while the breezes
of my virtuous and
mighty-mirrored self
waft gingerly
and again and again I am swimming
through seas of paper trials
and spongey errors
bouncing in a way
no other way can satisfy

.18 [anna i wanna]

anna i wanna
and i'm a-gonna
get you things to adore

diamond tiara
and ferragamma
dolce gabbana & more

my weimeraner
jumped right up on ya
when you came through my door

like babylonia
i had to warn ya
he's never done that before

that lethal ganja
from tijuana
compared to you is a bore

melt like a sauna
that black madonna
lays me out on the floor

.17

oh-seven
oh-seven
oh-seven

the luckiest
day of
the year

and I
got to
spend it
with you

Me And The B3

photo by David, taken at Harvelle's Redondo Beach 07/07/07

.16

it must get difficult
being the daughter
of a revolutionary

.15 [index]

an index::
of memories::

—giraffeeyebrows:
—peanutbutterontoast:
—ascentedreddress:
—thosebutterflycurls:
—withlightgoldenstrands:
—somerubberalcohol:
—theexquisitesin:
—herfeminineenergy:

there's more::
but those i will keep::
for myself.

.14

i decided to write a song
for each day that you're gone
with so many days to fill
i've filled volumes with writings until
you call me
or text me
or yell out my name
i've been here before
i can't do it again
i've spun around on my head
in a bed of blue flames
until a connection
is finally made

see...
you're a mystery
and me
i have a history
of trusting the wrong one
each...
and every...
single...
time.

i can't just give it away
keep that in mind.

.13

i'll misfile awhile
but you i wanna defile
that's what makes me smile
and make those ugly faces
while i inhale those intimate places
and when i run out of things to do
i waste company time sending email to you

.11

i took a year off
to write a haiku.

i'm taking another
so i can write two.

.10 [s.o.n.]

she's all cheekbones and eyebrows
she's stuck in my brain
she's swedish as hell
she's ONLINE NOW!

.09

an ass-kicking virgin
rises and shines
and undulates sexily
i arrive
hardly able to breathe
she walks towards me and stops
she advances two more steps
and with a look
and a crooked finger
she lures me
deep within a place
that didn't exist
until i found it

.08 [playlist]

01.Al Green —Simply Beautiful
02.Me'shell Ndegéocello —May This Be Love
03.David Sylvian —Wanderlust
04.Norah Jones —I Can't Get Started
05.Betty Davis —You And I
06.Mazzy Star —I've Been Let Down
07.Sade —The Sweetest Gift
08.Marvin Gaye —Why Did I Choose You
09.Marvin Gaye —Soon I'll Be Loving You Again
10.David Bowie —Somebody Up There Likes Me
11.Paul Quinn —Will I Ever Be Inside Of You
12.Chet Baker —Everything Happens To Me
13.Working Week —I Thought I'd Never See You Again
14.Marvin Gaye —Anna's Song

.07

little skinny ballerinas
i used to crush them
when we'd fuck
pound their lithe frames mercilessly
turn their pelvis' to powder
i'd admire them
then retire 'em

upwards into the stratosphere thrown
forever eclipsing the fierce incandescence
cotton-candy dragonflies
quickly melting on descent
against my chest
hot and sticky
i'm tickled pink
by that perfect tiny ballerina

.06

If I hadn't already done it,
I never would have believed I could.
The clever calculations 

I discovered by accident
haunted my brain,
forcing me to give in 

to my darkest blackest side.

As a western breeze rolls in,
I throw open my windows
as wide as they will go
to maximize the ocean wind
wheezing into my apartment.

In two hours it will be cold outside
and the apartment
will be nicely chilled and
perhaps then
my profuse and
disgusting sweating
might finally cease.

It is with this hope
that I moved my life to the shore -
the cold from the Pacific
might allow me
to feel comfort
for once in my life.

.05

You asked me
what inspired me to write.
AND
I don't really know.

BUT
When we met I imagined
a stentorean symphony of sound
in tribute to you.

.04

i will fuck you
til you stop me
and do exactly what you like
i'll pleasure you
treasure you
make you come and laugh
all night

you're notorious
and so glorious
i'm victorious
like the big blue bus
i come and go in a flash
with my pastport & cash
and my deep down secret truth
that I share with only you

.03

My penis is crying
and that's all there is
it's not sexual pleasure
nor intimate infection
it's not piss
or puss
or other stuff
and i didn't come
to get it
it's tears are real
i know just how it feels
it's not me that's crying
it's my penis

.02

They are beautiful...
those flesh-toned 

late-spring movies —
full of morning heat and
evening re-releases
full of start-ups
and finals
those silent black finals...
those finals that flash—
those lashes that thrash
and then it's me — all alone
no shelter - no home
no water - no sky
no light - no lie

.01

I am dark and black and negative
for a reason
I chose to be here
while her beauty
smothers me down

To look
is to give away a secret
that shameful secret
that exists
and controls tight.

That's the semen-coated truth.