Sunday, December 14, 2008

.92

the floor was stickier than usual
the patrons crazier 
& rowdier
than i'd witnessed of late

the air was thick with fratboy cologne
and the stench of bulimia
there was groping
violence wafted overhead

add drunken beauty 
to that cocktail 
and there we were
wasted and happy

Friday, December 5, 2008

.91

all the poetry 
got me the girl.
who turned out 
not to be real.

i thought 
she was young,
and wise beyond her years.
i thought 
i was old enough 
to know better.
i was wrong twice.

she was a pro.
while i - oppressed - 
had simple 
amateur status.

she was 
a death wish.
i was 
a trick.

this truth - her truth
was hidden by an
exterior swathed in knock-off linen
and tiffany-like c.z.s
intended for mere deception—
her natural state of being.

i couldn't see straight,
and that was on purpose.
camouflaged,
she was
ready to pounce.
ready to asphyxiate.
ready to kill.

she taught me
venom is woman
spelled 
backwards
and nothing more.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

.90

the very awesomeness
of your brown smile 
below you crocheted boleta cap 
takes me to places 
beneath the earth, 
beneath the sea 
where colors are muted 
and beauty is hidden.

i don't. i won't. 
i don't even know how. 
sometimes i forget, 
but more often i get wisps of you 
throughout the cosmos;
those otherworldly messages 
that indicate direction, 
lost time and gravity.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

.89

as koreatown
burns to the ground
i stand on the sidelines
listening to the sound
of the people in streets
in sheets with beliefs
and wonder how these creeps
will justify their receipts
maintain their shocked grief
as they say they do
koreatown's on fire
this time it's true

and they hold our lives
in the palms of their hands
sweaty and wrinkled and
made in iran
they've got guns to the right
and murder in their eyes
this is the sound
when elephants cry
take 'em out kobe style
at least we used to
koreatown's on fire
what are you gonna do?

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

.88

warm up the presses
it's ink and paper
a tender display
of calligraphy
invitations
never to be sent

rubber stamp
the route to freedom
the back-up lights
brake, ebb & flow
the pixels are perfect
but broken

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

.87 [cokni o'dire]

My man Nick Faigin 
told me not to say nuthin', 
but i gotta get it out
cuz y'know i got somethin'

He said I should write a letter 
then tear it up. 
That sounded like a good idea, 
but it wasn't enough.

.86

they'll be hell to pay
there's documentarians everywhere
you'll tell the truth
with all these cameras and conflicts

i see the outline of time
i see it clearly and often
i produce, i reuse, 
i reach below and above

overgrown - 
a manchild within
a wallet on a chain in a pants pocket
a similar, but simpler mistake

Monday, October 27, 2008

.85

she's a pleasure
a moonbeam
a feast of womankind.

inconsiderate beauty:
she wears it like
a sad jacket bedazzled.

it sparkles
on the fantastical
red carpet.

the superstar within
struggles without 
her heart.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

.84

one of them
the misfits
the slimey
the milfs
the slumming
the over
the under
all genius
all artists
not to be disdained
but cherished
celebrated and
brought to the frontlines
and among them

Saturday, October 25, 2008

.83

i think it.
i get it.
who am i 
to judge?

i see it-
then i can't.
i'm desperate-
then i'm not.
i whisper-
than i shout.

i'm confused and
i cannot understand.

Friday, October 24, 2008

.82

a bastard of a day
a realization of a wrinkle
an obsession with the truth
a notion of the past
a rancor still within

Thursday, October 23, 2008

.81

diesel engine roars
feel it from inside
a slippery clutch
rocketing petrol
drizzily cold
the journey is gray
and every gray journey 
begins this way

butlered into
an old overcoat
pockets filled
with tickets and ink
quickly refreshed with 
purchased breathmints
and a bottle of water 
holstered in tight

i sit with papers
bag and my book
prepared to waste time 
should anxiety cease
still hours til morning
days before destinations
my socks fill with moisture
my adidas - gone lame

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

.80

i'm california cool and
i'm santa monica mellow

new york's nice and
new york is it

but i'm california calm and 
i'm very venice beach

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

.79

it's completely improbable-
this sham of a love
gently unfolding
into petals of truth.

Monday, October 20, 2008

.78 [funk]

i'm on-the-one
psych-o-delic
blissed out
in outa-space

i'm dirt behind the ears
scrubbed until i'm bled
dished out and
i'm served cold

i'm colorful
colorless
flavorful and
flawed

i'm friday night fights
i'm saturday jams
i'm family stone and fatbacked
baptized
forgiven

i'm work-a-day-all-week
i'm hustle to pay the rent
i'm in cubicles and meth labs
i'm a stone gas
honey

i'm a party
i'm a heartbreak
i'm a secret 
love affair

i'm sugarcoated
deep-fried
raw and 
famous amos-ed

i'm surrogate soul
parliament
punked
superfly-ed, atomic dog-ed
con-funk-shun

Friday, October 17, 2008

.77

hello photo.
it's something 
in the way 
she poses.
silent still
the world;
chosen–
the best from the roll.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

.76 [love]

love
delivers 
the grand punch
of excitement.
that raison d'etre
and nothing less.

love
pants and sighs,
and unrealized,
it doesn't die-
it just lies 
beneath the smiley surface
and flattens

Thursday, October 9, 2008

.75

i busted my cherry
at 26 and a day
my sheets were stained
with black ink
to look back now
it's nail guns at sunset
pressurized cannons
with plenty to see

Friday, October 3, 2008

.74

the boredom
daily without thinking
ass sitting
standard
commiserate
with others
who can rationalize pain
who can live without crying
those who can live despite dying
i wouldn't
i couldn't
i shouldn't
if there is fear
i own it
those things i hold dear
i've known it
all the times i've been expected 
to be grown up
put on that smile 
to the world and shown it
the kitchen
the bathmat
dust settled 
on the tabletop
the silent 
Santa Monica
mornings

Friday, August 29, 2008

.73

Cosmos is a flower
and not just outer space
they come in chocolate, red and gold
they put a smile on her face
they're prettier than other annuls
and much much much more rare
they're hard to find, hard to get
then they die - why care?
there are much more common flowers
be they white or beige or blonde
the thing you love - it always dies
its there and then its gone.

Monday, August 11, 2008

.72

your heart is
encased behind
a solid concrete wall
surrounded by
a massive moat—
brimming within of
burning lava.
i can't get through—
i can't get past—
i can't get in—
no one
can get in—
a something friendship
with nothing to lose
your glorious freedoms
your meticulous heart
unfettered
still pure...
maybe slightly corrupted
and confused and
twisted up—
seeking hydration
until thoroughly quenched

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

.71

what do you feel
when the earth quakes
when the foundation shakes
when outside it's only
grotesque and moody
and unnatural
and frightening

do you feel all alone?
do you want to go home?
do you even have
somewhere to go?
do you know?
do you know?
do you know?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

.70

She knelt on the other side
of the canvas tarp —advertising
a budweiser sponsored
volleyball competition
down on the beach—
and was sucking on a bamboo reed
with the flat of her slightly
exposed pink tongue,
in preparation for playing
her wooden ebony clarinet.

"nice embouchure"
I smirked,
while forcing
myself to finish
a mint ice tea, I ordered specifically
for the caffeine…
"Thankth! Cahn I buy you anuthza?"
she lisped, reed still in place,
"I haven't even finished with this,
and I might not finish it at all—
I don't really like mint"
She removed the reed and
offered to blow me.
Nice embouchure, indeed.

Monday, July 7, 2008

.69

these women never cease
whether or not you pay them
whether or not you're good to them
they never give you what you really want
not their body-
for bodies always get old.
not their mind-
for minds often grow feeble.
not their spirit-
for their spirit can be weak.
but their respect-
everlasting
in response
for your honesty
for your love
for your patience
for your humor
for your effort
for your success
these women never cease

Saturday, July 5, 2008

.68

it's not my fault
that
she couldn't handle it—
my business
my politics
my cowboy spirit
my eazy-e sincerity

her karma
hit a brick wall
at ferocious speed-
becoming broken, warped
in need of
replacing
like her own pricey Vuitton

her time is running out
her story
is old and uninteresting
her flame flickers—
i got burned
by simply standing
too close

Monday, June 30, 2008

.67

she brings the pain
but not in a good way
she brought this wrath
down on herself alone
i'm gonna fuck all her women
and ruin all her men
i understand now
exactly what she does
and why she does it
it makes her human
i embrace a
genuine rush of power
now knowing
i could crush her sexy ass

Thursday, June 26, 2008

.66 [the N train]

Through QB
silly how one wonders;
writes tentatively
all about the sound
clattering
clacking
riotous
vomit hurling racket
between the cars
between the ears
it's a question of degree
quietly I listen
even quieter I expound
flashing lights mean nothing
My world is down.
Under.
Above.
Anything but right here,
Right now.

Monday, June 23, 2008

.65

the hottest
summer nights
scald me
and with
blinding energy
every sad
neon sign
turns on
to you

the dapper and
the dapped
estranged and
engorged
overflown and
overfilled
forfeit real life for your beauty

splurging
the excessive depths
of your kinky headed
halo'ed image
i yearn
(i do)
but for what
i no longer know

Saturday, June 21, 2008

.64

how i wish
i wasn't
what i am
to you

if i could be
any other
you might
take a second look

instead
i lost your
attention
immediately

Thursday, June 12, 2008

.62

I do go on
Dour and humorless
Scarred and overly private
Friendless and privileged
Situationally disadvantaged
Socially retarded
For all to revisit
Should they stumble upon me
My inaccessibility
Mechanical measures taken
Ensures my demoness'
Won't be disconnected again

The nutrition
Daily without thinking
Disturbing like a cold chill
Disturbed like raised flesh
The riptides mellifluous
Aroused and soaked through
Weighted down
Tender and heavy
The freezing calm
Combative and sweaty
A storm is brewing
A warm front
An unholy humidity
A heavy burden
A realtime disaster
A funeral

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

.61

mine and her's pure secret
we are clandestine
deep dark and dirty
for no one to know
for they will judge
then destroy the mighty delusion
the catastrophe

i deflate embarrassingly
when you whisper the truth
mesmerized by your sworn witness
invested in soulful degradations
committing what once was
but from now on
will never be

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

.59

the jazz baps along 
with her heartfelt song
strumming
bumming
or is that just me—
unfulfilled
losing my grasp
and again
my past
has nothing on me
i never could be told—
so why would I tell you?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

.58 [nyc]

where the living breathe,
there is more to see
and more to do.
one must trust
but not
completely.
a missed opportunity
can ruin
a whole day.
tingling from head to toe,
i could never be heard from
again.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

.57

A movie star
at an awards ceremony
you presented
yourself,
leaving
fingerprints
on me
that still haven't
rinsed clean.

Awkwardly
incessantly
religiously -
ridiculously preening
my resumé emptied
my credentialed sack
acid dipped
like hidden
was even an option.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

.56

It started as a joke on myspace
then I heard you sing,
I tried to convince you
I was the man—
I was just trying to fit in.

We played a little rough that first night
but still we both were playing
fantasy…
reality...
neither one to blame.

But it started sweet on myspace
and maybe without class
I Googled you
I wanted you
Your heart your soul
your exquisite ass.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

.55

there's a face you make
when you don't wanna hear it
like you wish it hadn't
appeared at all-

you crinkle your nose
as southern lines swim
rippling
your satin brow

those infamous eyebrows
suffer in silence
seismologically
stretch and scrunch

truth vs. fault
they answer divided,
but they answer
nevertheless

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

.54

terror sets in…

like a Buñuel
nightmare
like a Bosch
daydream
like a limping
lizard
like a child…

like a Dali
stopwatch
like a road
to ruin
like a solid gold
erection
like a heart
that's been broken
like a heart
that's still healing
like a handful of
ashes
like a goddamn
foul ball
like my life
before you

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

.53 [the moon]

I.
are you suffering from happiness extremes?
do the stars seem farther away than ever?
you never answer my questions
i'm just left with my imagination

are you fine and well and taking on the world?
are you cerebral and cautious and planning your next move?
all my questions remain unanswered
i may as well think about the moon

II.
moon lights up my nights
let's me know when to sleep
reminds me to think of you
makes me wake when it's done

i can't make it stop
and i want you to know
it's changed and estranged me
from those that i love

maybe someday
that light will extinguish
then hummingbird flutters
won't crowd round my door

i'll find some respect
and maybe a fortune
my life will change for the better
and the dawn will have come

Monday, April 21, 2008

.52

i think i need a woman
i know i do in fact
i'm up the wall
so you should call
or at least just call me back

i think i need a trainwreck
drop me to my knees
wake me up
in the middle of the night
make my darkness ultra-bright

i think i need to scream
i think i wanna scam
i think i gotta lean
i think therefore i am

Thursday, April 10, 2008

.51

summer's impending
swooping towards May
memory overfill
the sand
the steps
the pier
and the memory
of you.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

.50

i had
nothing
then i met you
now i have
every thing

i never
got out of bed
before you
now my spine is strong
and able

i couldn’t find
my way
around
now the direction
is obvious

i thought you
were accommodating
yet untamable
now i just
stay away

Saturday, April 5, 2008

.49

women must dread
that moment
when they walk into
a bar
a club
a restaurant
anywhere in the world
and see
that man and
lock eyes with him
for just a second...


the panic
as her naiveté
catches up
and her secret
jeopardizes
everything...


imminently scrutinized
by those she trusted...
suddenly threatened
by those she deceived...


and i love the deceivers -
the unconventional urchins
who share their indigo sex appeal
their dark femininity -
all pleather and sateen
polyester
and mine

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

.48

I'm not up for being down.
I simply want to bond
with greatness.


As I look round the joint,
I see the scattered 2 or 3,
self-absorbed, self-involved, and detached.
Out of the darkness much genius permeates.


I can sit back and enjoy myself and
trust that life can be simultaneously fair
but so uncool.


Nearing rainbows - breaking rules
the consequences are few—if any
A nice cool rainfall would be perfect
Cleanse my head, my body and heart


I will live in the moment
and believe that everything
happens for a reason.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

.47

your worn Vuitton bag
and faded black "Apple Bottoms"
you don when you dress up
when you’re bored or being boring

i don’t even know
why i would want you
normal and republican
aspiring to be like the wind


you say San Diego
is too conservative
obviously Stockholm
is too dull

but it’s where you belong
and I’ll dump you there
if you tell me you’re happy
and you’re where you wanna be

Saturday, March 29, 2008

.46

just like
the paintings
i’ve covered
you up

the canvas’
with gesso
my mind
with the drugs

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

.45

people do a lot of things
for a lot of reasons.
girls lie about sex
all day everyday.
i get a little overexcited
a lot of the time.

Friday, March 14, 2008

.44

You gonna bust that chump down to size?
Make him needy and weak?
Have him questioning his every move?
When his one desire is you.

It sickens me.
Looks like a ruse from here.
I’m trying to forget,
yet I can’t disconnect.

Will you
go STRAIGHT for him?
Or will you go
straight FOR HIM?

Saturday, March 8, 2008

.43

hope you find
what you need
hope you need
what you find
our stars won’t collide
our planets won’t align
torturing hearts
just your way to survive

never again
will you choose to ignore me
the rest of your life
you will bore me and floor me
i won’t be told to stop staring
and you’ll never be seen
reciprocal kindness
is an obsessive’s dream

that you do well
that you do good
the most generous
that i can be
i wish it was more
by the end of the day
it’s a drop in the ocean
a tear in the sea

Thursday, March 6, 2008

.42

a wicked transformation
is underfoot
a brain wave of possible terror
a hidden nosebleed
a caution

investigative pontification
there is an answer
and it is underfoot
like winter bricks worn
and potholed