You gonna bust that chump down to size?
Make him needy and weak?
Have him questioning his every move?
When his one desire is you.
It sickens me.
Looks like a ruse from here.
I’m trying to forget,
yet I can’t disconnect.
go STRAIGHT for him?
Or will you go
straight FOR HIM?
Very good piece here, in essence. A word of advice... capitalize all the I's, and follow through with the punctuation, if you are going to use it. It will be more 'pulled together' that way.
(I'd be tempted to add, to the end, "I hate that I wish I were him."- since you still can't disconnect, it would fit. ;)
Posted by LilMsLadyPoetNC on Mar 14, 2008 6:29 PM
This is the first one I've read of yours. Not bad! I thought it was ironic that the first one I read was number 44. The year of my birth.
Posted by Ernie on Mar 23, 2008 11:03 PM
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