Friday, February 26, 2010

.154

He'll wear a snuggie or a manly knapsack
Testosterone baby — not gonna do that
He'll lift heavy things and cheer the home team
He'll obsess over going on horseback rides through the mountains,
Camping in the woods, and where you been, while he's not there.

He'll high-five and be rude and not even know it.
He'll be sweet and get you what you need and maybe give you what you want.
The in-laws and grandfolks on either side of the ocean
Will dote and inundate and criticize.
And he'll let them.

He'll trust you.
But you'll never fully trust him,
knowing how easy it was
to manipulate and get the keys.

There's love and security.
There's smiles and full bellies.
There's no reason to be lonely.
There's nothing about this that amuses.

Your lies by omission
Won't harm or humiliate.
Everyone's dead
That could possibly tell.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

.153

Does it hurt more
When I'm around?
Is there something I can do?
Somewhere I can go?
How did I become so sad?
Tortured?
Insolent?
I think I know...
But I've forgotten
And it doesn't seem like it would change
much even if I could remember ....

My eyes cannot stay open
my impact is null
I have spent a life marganilized
Unable to enjoy
Responding only to the feelings of anger, guilt or pain
Easily manipulated
A life of
Timidity–
No one knows the timid I've seen

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

.152

to judge the others'
happiness-
not unlike
a dying swan,
a game of catch,
a broken gun,
a beating heart,
and no one to rip apart

no day at the beach
no other cliches
the more i keep to myself
the more content i am
in my quest to be
untouched
unhinged
unglued
erased
judgement proof
and that's all the proof i need

no insemination
no teenage hoodlum
or pack rat
or jester suit

no ending

Monday, February 22, 2010

Red Velvet Cake Review Feb 2010

The Red Velvet Cake Review
At Angel's, Santa Monica, CA
Feb 21 2010

with Walter Davis and Matt Lucich


pix by Mallory Bradley

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Hipstamatic™ Pix


Joe, Dorthea, Peter
Peter
Dorthea


Pix taken with the Hipstamatic™ app.

.151

You're free and
wild
and I'm locked
in this cock-cage

The very angriest
thing to do-
Withold orgasm -
keep it for myself

I protect my heart like
I protect my groin,
Cuz some things
don't grow back

Pecked to
obscurity-
Worse than
death

I'm impoverished and ashamed
I'm dirty and repellent
I'm obsequiously clever
I'm headed for a fall

I can see it.
In slow motion.
it's unavoidable-
Not "just because"

Torn away-
My tragedy began early on,
And isn't really a tragedy
at all.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Floor 20 : Hipstamatic™

Pix taken with the Hipstamatic™ app.

Michael Bolger - trumpet

Puma & Lady Vee

Carolina Cerisola
Walter Davis - saxophone
Maus - best bartender in Hollywood (King-King)
No parking on the dancefloor
"Git down!"
Walter Davis leads the band at The Floor
Alexander Burke - vibraphone

.150

i cave under the weakness i crave.
my sweet laugh
again ashamed
flight taken
only to be dropped
wide awake
childlike
impossible
inexcusable
selfish
toasted
royaled
elementary

like charmed snakes-
habits dash into the
suckhole of my sainthood

3 a.m.?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Floor 20

with Annalisa Rinetti and Marco Peru
with Peppa
with K.G. Superstar
with Megan Williams
with Walter Jones and Mela Lee
with Sting
with saxophonist Walter Davis
with Carolina Cerisola
with Josavelle Ramos Cruz

Monday, February 15, 2010

The Floor 20 : Stung

Hanging with Sting at the King-King


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

.149

She was as mean as she was beautiful.
She scarred me up.
Abused me to no end.
She put a spell on me.
That's not what I signed on for.

She stripped me bare.
She made me wait.
She acted out.
I always lost.
She moved on.

I hate myself as much as I hate her.
The self loathing ...
The constant state of boring myself to death...
I'm repellent and dirty

A self-pitying shell of a man
That's letting the polluted wash of yesterday's rain
lap at my feet
by the soul of the Pacific Ocean

The dead fish
The ill carcass
It's too bad that
rain can't cleanse my insides.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Kibbitz Room, Canter's

Dezmond Meeks and Peter Grant
Dorthea, Tamara, and Peter Grant


also on hand : trumpet players Sebastian Legar and Michael Bolger and a singer named Kerrie Benoit.


All photos taken with the Hipstamatic™ app for the iPhone
at the Kibbitz Room
Feb 1, 2010