.184

i am sorry for the failure
to complete my tasks
to get you home.

i am sorry for the things
i''ve done to you -

in broad daylight -

i am sorry
for pledging to be there
and then turning away

i am sorry
i can't impress you with the contents of my pockets
or the girth and size of my muscles

i am sorry
i started to write this.
it brings me nothing
but humiliation
and shame

i am sorry
that i have things to be sorry about
because it's heartbreaking-
the way we treat one another

i am sorry
i am limber and demand more
that i am not passive -
merely passive aggressive-

i am sorry for
saying the same thing
in different ways
again and again and again

i am sorry
i am not blind and

therefore can see you in my mind
for all eternity

i am sorry
for so many things
and the fate of my future
depends on the exorcism of these demons

i am sorry
i am.
i really am.
but i can't prove it or demonstrate it-
and you'll never know
how much it hurts.

i am sorry.