Sunday, March 20, 2011


night is something to get through.
daytime is something to avoid.
how many nights did i take on and
how many more must their be.

they rain down on me
until i'm swallowed up and
when it's darkest,
i just hide out and wait,
i ready the counters.
As the death toll rises,
it's nothing but bad news.

i never forget exactly how it feels and
all i see forward is more.
there's not enough medicine
crashing chocolate metal;
dark and messy.
the hours on the couch become
boring and predictable
through these glasses of doom—
these half-empty glasses of doom.

stand-up or stand down
success measured out in paper and
things in amounts much bigger than needed;
carats, rocks, grams, deals and popularity.
my existence is floating
never touching the top or bottom or the sides.
floating - dangling;
a mylar balloon
on a string tethered to nothing
caged and caught
caught and caged
days ticking off
gargantuan and wide
too big to be
too small not to
'of life, fear and retribution is another party'
another room full of people
juiced and configured for a purpose - a something to fill the voids-
fill the pits and make it smooth, matte and unnatural.
one long drawn out ordinary specialty that no one cares to acknowledge

i'm gonna disappear and
feel shame & guilt,
pain & remorse-
a two-toned jester suit wraps my soul-
until everyone knows and everyone sees
exactly what is going on
and how it will end.

like dirt on white trainers,
rubber and leather separating flesh
from the earth-
the man-made earth that no one wants-
but none of us can avoid

your stupid eyebrows
your boring beauty
divinely remembered;
how when we met,
you tried me like a bar fool
scooting, sniffing
tonguing at your divine center
all i ever wanted
all i ever had
all i ever needed
all i've ever known.

coast-to-coast muthafucker—
sonic signing-
a little insurance-
an untoward comment
the life i led
the life i had
the life i gave

mascara and makeup-
textbooks and intimate piercings
all that wasted time in-between the words and the music-
in-between the blues, greens and yellows of worth in the world.
no love songs or fun poems.
no levity.
no vindication.
no resolution.

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